Falling in love with a fuck boy is so easily done. Trust me i’ve done it, over and over in fact. I’ve always wanted a relationship, i’m not into one night stands but I really enjoy sex, and intimacy is like a drug. Some people may make a decision that a fuckboy is what they are looking for and that’s cool – no judgement here. I’ve never decided that is what i’m looking for, but it’s been something that i’ve entertained when I realise ‘he is not relationship material’ or he gives that ‘I am not looking for a serious relationship talk’. Both are a crappy eventualities but worse (it seems) is the prospect of a summer / lockdown / winter without any sex or intimacy. I just can’t do it. After 3 months or so without any dick action, I begin to notice a change. I start to get a (bit how do we say) thirsty… Climbing up the perpetual I need a fuck wall. I can give it 6 months, but jeeze don’t let it reach a year… I have made it a year before and you know what, it was shit, there is no medal and no reward. Just a year of sexless misery. I try not to let that happen, hence the fuckboy experiences.
Good sex is linked to intimacy which for me is so closely linked to emotions. The sex gets better the more I get to know someone, the first time is rarely a top 10 experience. Emotions – those little buggers, are always there mixed with the thrill of a beautifully erogenous night of sexual freedom. I really just want to be free to make love, fuck and let my emotions go! The problem with emotions is that they lead to feelings. Oh feelings feeling feelings, why do you beseech my heart so? I know, you know, my friends all know… I’m catching feelings. Hook line and sinker, and there is no hope. We know this ship is the fucking titanic, and it’s going down. No sailing off into the sunset. Nope he isn’t going turn over after the explosive orgasm and tell me ‘…actually darling, I love you, let’s do this, let’s fall in love!’. Although in my mind after a night of multiple orgasms – my heart is saying ‘let this be the love of my life who makes my body shiver on demand for the rest of my life!’ IT AIN’T GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN!
So in the hope of actually keeping sane, while I search for my forever fuck (ok, I shouldn’t call my future king, friend, lover, husband, inspiration that) but hey it’s a Sunday morning I am thinking how not to fall in love with the fuckboy while looking for true love. Is it possible?
These are my thoughts on how not to fall in love with the fuckboy.
- Understand he IS a fuckboy and nothing else. He is fundamentally confused and is unsure of what he wants from life, from you and everything in general. He has no real goals with you other than to fulfill his sexual desire. Do not be fooled with the script, the sexy gestures and the drooling pre-sex eyes. If he is over 40 be even more cautious as there is a long life of fuckery here, so much so that he has probably started to believe his own shit and actually think he is a nice guy. He isn’t.
- Remember point 1 above and tell yourself that everytime you start to romanticise his actions.
- Fuckboys don’t get the boyfriend benefits. Keep it real girl, if he doesn’t want a relationship he doesn’t deserve dinner, doesn’t deserve your sexy morning brunch, walks in the park, that back rub.. you catch my drift. Get what you want and need and don’t over give of your time, energy, heart and power. Don’t tell him your hopes and dreams, share your ideas, listen to his drama, fix his problems… you are not his girlfriend. Period.
- Keep off the phone. No point in developing contact that rarely satisfies. Keep it light, bright and breezy. If you start to rely on his contact for your daily distractions this is one step closer to feelings. Drop it like a hot rock and keep moving. Call someone else, swipe your night away or write a blog (hee hee).
- Enjoy the sex. The minute you are not enjoying the encounters and sex because you are feeling sad, or down, upset that he’s not giving you what you want and need… it’s time to shut it down.